Update

15 Nov

So in my “We’re Back!” post, I said we’re going to start TTC (trying to concieve) again and that I wanted to use this here blog as sort of a diary for our little one(s) some day. Well, we went to see B’s doctor last week and got some much needed good news. Dr. S said that we have about a 95% chance of fixing whatever is wrong. I figured out that the 50/50 thing last time meant that either it can be fixed or it can’t – thus making the odds 50/50. But, of those odds, 95% are fixable. So, that was great. We also discussed insurance and found out why they said it wouldn’t be covered last time. He did say that we may have to fight it, but that insurance should cover it. I’ll fight tooth and nail if it means that this surgery will be covered.

All in all, the appointment was very short and it was more financial than medical. But, since the financial aspect is what held us up last time, it was very good news. B and I left feeling much more positive and definitely looking forward to the future. They did say that his next appointment isn’t available until February, but something could come up sooner. We’ve waited so long already, another few months won’t kill us. Plus, with the holidays coming up, the wait will fly by!

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Thankful Thursday

10 Nov

So, after my last post where I just whined and complained about first world problems, I thought I’d change gears with this post. In honor of Thanksgiving being a mere 2 weeks away, I wanted to list the things I’m thankful for. Since there are 30 days in November, I’ll do 30 things!

1. My amazing husband. I’m not always the easiest person to deal with and he takes it like a champ.
2. My mom – she is seriously the best mom on the planet. When I do have kids of my own, I hope to atleast be half the mother she is.
3. My siblings – I have 3 and they’re awesome. I learn to appreciate them more and more the older I get.
4. My sweet fur babies. They never fail to put a smile on my face.
5. The fact that I have a job – one that I like and I’m actually good at.
6. That I have a roof over my head that I actually own – no matter how much I complain about it.
7. My BFF, J. We’ve been friends for over 9 years and our friendship gets stronger and better with each passing year.
8. My amazing group of girlfriends here in NC. They’ve become the family I chose for myself.
9. My Step Dad, D. He has gone so far above and beyond the call of duty for a step dad, especially since my “real” dad has removed himself from the picture.
10. My health. Infertility notwithstanding, I’m a pretty healthy person and I’m so glad for that.
Ok, I’m probably going to start getting a little silly and superficial now. The first 10 were deep and serious enough.
11. My CHI hair straightener. My hair would be a big frizzy mess without it.
12. My iPhone. I’m not sure how I went so long without one…
13. The amazingness that is Pandora radio. It makes my commute to and from work bearable.
14. My in law’s lake house – it’s the perfect getaway any season.
15. My in laws themselves. As far as in laws go, mine are pretty great.
16. Diet Coke. Amen.
17. Online shopping. I wouldn’t get near enough shopping done if I couldn’t do it online.
18. My photography class – while I’m not sure I’m getting any photography skillz out of it, it’s nice to be learning in a classroom again.
19. Good books. I love love love reading – and a good book is a great way for me to escape into a whole new world (and, now the dang Aladdin song is stuck in my head…)
20. My wedding photos – this may sound dumb, but its so great to be able to go back and live that amazing day anytime I want.
21. The ability and resources to go home several times a year to visit my family.
22. My sweet little 4 month old nephew, M. I’ve only gotten to see him once, but I’m already head over heels in love with the little guy.
23. My husband’s ability to cook. I don’t cook, so it’s wonderful to be able to enjoy home cooked meals and not have to survive solely on frozen meals or take out.
24. The fact that my husband supports me in all I do and constantly pushes me to do/be better.
25. The fact that my husband has more fait in me than I do.
26. Dessert. Mmmmmmmm….
28. Lip gloss – so tasty and makes my lips kissable!
29. The amazing group of women on the infertility board over on Weddingbee. They have been such an amazing source of comfort and inspiration with all our infertility mess.
30. This blog. Hopefully, one day, it’ll become something great!

What are you thankful for this month – or any month?

First World Problems

8 Nov

Ok, can I be a big baby and vent here for a second? Oh, its my blog and I can do whatever I want on here? Fantastic.

So, B and I bought our first home a year ago. While it wasn’t my first choice, I really did like it and it made a perfect starter home. 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath cape cod style home with an adorable front porch and a fenced in back yard for our pups. Sure, it was about 20 years old and the previous owners basically half assed any home improvement projects and there was insanely limited storage – but the price was right and it was in a good location and had good potential resale value. Now, a year later, I freaking hate it. It’s hardi plank siding – meaning wood. So, we’re getting it painted (after my father in law wouldn’t shut up about it. That’s another story for another, less public forum day). While they’re painting it, they notice rotting boards. Boards that our contractor should have fixed before we closed on the house. Big shocker they didn’t fix it. Oh, and in the process of painting, they noticed termites in the front yard. Freaking termites!!!!! Also, in the short 13 months we lived there, we’ve had our roof leak. Twice. We were smart enough to get the previous owners to throw in a year home warranty when we closed. Fantastic – except that there’s a cap on how much to spend fixing a roof. Oh, and the customer service is God awful. So, after having to find our own roofer with the second leak, I’m told that we’re past our 15 day grace period of having the second leak fixed. Fan-freaking-tastic.

I know we’re insanely lucky to even be able to be homeowners in the economy. And, most days, I feel the luck. And I usually like my house. And, I know it could be much worse – like we could need a whole new roof or the termites could be infesting our entire house. But, for now, I’m just pissed and totally annoyed at all the stupid shit going on with our damn house. UGH!

Ok, end vent.

And, we’re back!

4 Nov

So, the title of this post has two meanings. One, I’m back, as in back to blogging. I just started this here blog and have already failed miserably. I am going to try to be better – promise!

The second meaning is a bit more complicated. See, before the mister and I even got married, we decided we wanted to start a family. So, we stopped trying to prevent one. Fast forward about a year and still no baby as well as some other issues (basically, my body decided it didn’t want to do the necessary things needed to have a baby, namely ovulate). So, I went to see my GYN and we tried a few rounds of fertility meds to make me ovulate. We tried 2 rounds of Femara and then one round of Clomid (all hail the ever powerful CLOMID). But, those didn’t work. In fact, my body failed miserably at that (hey, kind of like me trying to blog! HA!). So, we decided it was time for me to go see a specialist – aka a fertility specialist, aka a Reproductive Endocronologist – known henceforth as my RE. I went to see him and he was great. He had a plan, and, more importantly, didn’t need to take anymore blood! I hate needles (and have 2 tattoos – explain that!). But, first, he decided that the hubs needed to have a semen analysis (SA) done just in case. Well, he did, and it was not good. There were no sperm. None. Zip. Zilch. It was at this point that I lost my shit. Well, lost it again (long story short, in the midst of the failed meds, I found out that 5 people close to me were pregnant – either on accident or the first try. Cue losing of shit part 1). It was one thing for me to have issues. They seemed relatively fixable. It was entirely another to have the BOTH of us having issues. It seemed so insurmountable.

So, onward we went to a Urologist for the hubs. He did another SA and it had the same results. A surgery was scheduled to see if he could even produce sperm. Good news was he can! Bad news was if it’s just a blockage – the chances of fixing it were only 50/50. Even more bad news – insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery. At. All. So, while on our anniversary trip, we decided to take the year off. Trying for a baby became too much, it became bigger than us. Our new marraige was starting to suffer. Thus, the YEAR OF FUN began.

We had a great summer. We hung out, went to the beach, went to his parent’s lake house. In September, we celebrated my 28th birthday in San Francisco. We were really enjoying the time off from obsessing about what my body was doing, what his was doing, and all the shit that comes along with infertility. During the summer, however, all the aforementioned babies were born. And they were adorable and precious, and snuggly. My baby fever was coming back. But, I knew that my husband had a harder time with it all than I did and I kept my mouth shut. Then, out of nowhere, last week, he tells me he’s ready to start trying again. I called the doctor’s office and found out that the surgery is, in fact, covered by insurance. It seemed too good to be true. So, I made an appointment for a pre-surgery consult with B’s (B is the hubs) doctor for next week.

Allow me to get all heavy for a moment here. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. I believed that almost 4 years ago when my life was shit and I got an awesome job opportunity to move 600 miles away from everyone I knew and loved, only to meet my husband a month later. Going through all this solidified it even more. In the midst of all the infertility mess, B and I have both changed jobs (he a few times, me just getting promoted within my current company) and are both much happier in our new jobs, and making more money. Had we gotten pregnant last year when we wanted, he would never have been able to get the job he has now (and he has wanted this job for years) and I would have been on maternity leave when I applied for my promotion. We’re much more stable in both our personal and professional lives. Last year was obviously not our time to have a baby. I know we will have one, either this year or the next, or 5 or 10 years from now. Our baby is out there. I just have to keep the faith that I’m on the path I’m supposed to be one.

With this next go round of trying to conceive (TTC), we’re only telling our parents (and, well, you guys. All like 1 of you.). Last time I told friends and coworkers and extended family. Infertility is something that is all too often swept under the rug or treated like some awful disease. I wanted to let people know that it affects more people than you know. And, it was nice to have a support system. But, I also think that it contributed to some of the stress. So why put it in the blog? Because I’d like to have some sort of diary so that when we do have our baby, he or she can look back and see the path that we took to get to him/her.

Wish us luck!!

The Story of Us

7 Oct

I had this big, well intentioned plan to participate in a photography challenge this month. But, we’re already 7 days in and the only time I’ve even taken my camera out of it’s bag is to put on the adorable accessories I bought for it on Etsy. (having a well accessorized camera is very important in case you didn’t know!) So, since that’s basically a month’s worth of posts down the drain, I am now needing to come up with some decent posts. Since my husband and I lied about the way we met for the first year we were together (my sisters didn’t know the truth till they read it on our wedding website after becoming engaged!), I thought I’d write about the real story. Hopefull it’ll help some other 20’s somethings out there!

It’s May 2008. I have just packed up my life and moved from Tennessee to the “redneck riveria” – Myrtle Beach, South Carolina (got a new job and they moved me down there). I didn’t know a soul and lived in what can only be described as a glorified retirement village. So, there was no chance of meeting a nice young gentleman there. And, lets be honest, my chances were slim of meeting one in all of Myrtle Beach. I went home to TN at the end of the month for my best friends wedding. I came back to my little condo and was feeling sad and lonely and sort of like the crazy dog lady (at the time I only had Finn). I was watching TV and the commercial for the free match weekend on eHarmony came on. Now, I am a total sucker for advertising, so naturally I grabbed my laptop and logged right in! 6 years and about a million questions* later, I was done and ready to be matched up with the man of my dreams. However, my first several matches were guys I’m certain play dungeons and dragons like its their job and live in their mom’s basement. It was not looking good. Oh, and in order to see the profile of who they match you with – you have to pay! I got totally duped. I figured I’d give it 1 month and 60 bucks and see what happens. So, needless to say, I was thinking this was not going to pan out well. That Thursday (I signed up on Sunday), a normal, hot even, guy around my age poked me (ok, I know poking is from facebook, but I have zero recollection of what it’s called when they say they want to get to know you). We send the questions back and forth. He even called me out on how tough my questions were. Hey, look, I’m not playing around. It’s really important to me to know the answers to the hard hitting questions….that I can’t even remember 3 years later…. So, anyway, we made it through the multiple choice questions, the must haves/can’t stands/and the essay questions. We were now in the email within eHarmony portion of our little virtual love fest. He asks me if I had instant messaging. I so didn’t but immediately signed up so that we chould chat. We spent the day chatting (it’s now Friday, the next day) and flirting with emoticons (for the record, we were in our mid-20’s, not high school as the IM’ing and emoticons would lead you to believe). That night we were both talking about how hungry we were and decided to go to dinner. Now, here’s where I made the biggest potential mistake EVER: I told him to come pick me up. Yes, I told some random dude I met on the internet to come to my house. Did I tell anyone where I was going? Hell no, I was embarrassed that I was even online dating. Did I know my neighbors enough for them to recognize that I was even missing? Um, no. Nor did I work in an office so no one would notice if I didn’t show up to work on Monday. Ladies, do NOT do this. Do as I say, not as I do! So, anyway, he comes to pick me up and we had an amazing time! He didn’t kill me, or even attempt to. All in all, it was a success!

After that first date, we moved very quickly. He moved in about a month and a half later and we got engaged 10 months after that. It was the best 60 bucks I’ve ever spent.

And, since this was a longish post, here are some pics of us in the early days….

*May be a slight exaggeration, but if you’ve ever been on eHarmony, you get it.

Me? Trendy??

30 Sep

So all the cool kids are doing the whole accent nail thing – where you paint one nail a different color. As someone who has always desperately wanted to be a cool kid, I figured it was best I continue that into my late 20’s!

Last night I had some free time on my hands so I decided to give it a go. And, like all wannabe cool kids, I combined multiple trends into one. Apparently 2 hot nail colors for the fall are navy blue and greige – both of which I used.

20110930-152706.jpg

So what do we think? If you’re interested – I used OPI Light my Sapphire and Essie Master Plan

Ps – I’m really really really sorry to the powers that be for no links. I’m new to the whole blogging thing an I don’t know how to add them yet!!

ABC’s of Me!

29 Sep

Since we’re all getting to know eachother here, I thought doing the old ABC post that some of my fave bloggers do would be a fun way for you guys to get to know me. So, here we go!

A. Age: 28 – just turned it a few weeks ago. Inching closer and closer to 30 – ugh

B. Bed size: Kind – and it’s glorious!

C. Chore you hate: Sweeping. We have hardwood floors and 3 pets, you do the math

D. Dogs: 2 sweet babies! Actually, Finn is like 7 and Hippo is 2, but they’ll always be babies to me!

E. Essential start to your day: Checking Facebook and Twitter on my iPhone

F. Favorite color: Pink!

G. Gold or silver: Either – depends on my mood/outfit. Although, my wedding rings/engagement ring are white gold, so always a bit of gold

H. Height: 5’5ish

I. Instruments: None. I did play the violin in 5th grade though

J. Job title: Client Services Specialist

K. Kids: Do my pets count?

L. Live: Raleigh, NC

M. Mom’s name: Karen

N. Nicknames: My mom has always called me Princess

O. Overnight hospital stays: None (knock on wood)

P. Pet peeve: Oh, goodness, I have a ton. Clutter, repetitive noises, when my husband constantly bounces his leg right by me, people who don’t courtesy wave when you let them over in traffic, the list goes on and on…

Q. Quote from a movie: That’s so fetch!

R. Right or left handed: Right

S. Siblings: 1 brother, 2 sisters

T. Time you wake up: 6 on weekdays, whenever I want on the weekends, usually between 8 and 9

U. Underwear: Yes please

V. Vegetables you dislike: Beets, most beans (except green beans, love those!)

W. What makes you run late: Goofing off while I’m getting ready

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Oh Lord – head, nose, elbow, foot, ankle, finger, spine, ovaries

Y. Yummy food you make: Green Chile Enchiladas

Z. Zoo- favorite animal: Monkeys. It’s one of my life goals to own a monkey.

There you have it folks – all you ever wanted to know about me, and possibly more!